If my red eyes don’t see you anymore
And I can’t hear you through the white noise
Just send your heartbeat
I’ll go to the blue ocean floor
— Justin Timberlake, Blue Ocean Floor
Sometimes I feel like I’m so lost inside my head that I’m truly in my own world, in every sense of the phrase. I don’t hear people calling me, I don’t see people trying to get my attention, I don’t feel when somebody touches me. It’s like my mind forms a bubble that transcends all my senses and I just get thrown into a void filled only by me and my thoughts. Is it what people call their ‘happy place’? But I don’t feel happy in it. It’s just like a little quiet corner that my mind’s created for itself, to block out the rest of the world when everything just gets too much and I need to be alone. I guess it’s kind of a way to be alone, without actually being physically alone. Maybe this is why I feel like I don’t need to go out alone much? Because I’m already so alone in my head?