I used to love everyone. Absolutely everyone. And it was so private and intense, and my heart broke every time I saw someone slowly ruin himself or herself. They would let sadness in without any resistance, and they would make choices that they knew would hurt them in order to feel alive. I used to find everyone so endearing, with humanity just leaking out of them with every gesture. I was highly perceptive of everyone around me, and as we all got older, that gift became a curse. I gave myself away to everyone I met, thinking they needed my heart for themselves more than I needed to hold onto it. No one would understand that now. They probably think I’ve always been cold and closed-off, that I would never understand affection or pain, and it simply isn’t true. Through the years, I became a hollowed-out version of who I was, and now I understand every emotion better than they’ll ever know. I just can’t experience it with them. I’ve been numb for years now, and it’s because I used to be more human than you’ll ever grasp.

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Published by

quirkyteal

writer/stylist/dreamer sophomore | lasalle college of the arts

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