Being sick together does not equal love forever.

I guess a good sign of maturity is realising that I WOULD NOT stay with someone I love when they’re sick because being sick sucks and two people being sick together is not romantic in the least; it’s actually really unsanitary and makes for two people in the world not turning up for work and instead cuddling together in bed thinking ‘this is love’ when actually it’s just a really gross and unnecessary exchange of germs which may not have happened if they’d jUST STAYED AWAY FROM EACH OTHER.

Love might mean romance and marriage and vows ‘in sickness and in health’ but that doesn’t mean ‘in sickness and in health together’ so one of you needs to stay healthy to run down to the drugstore to get medicine for the other and if both of you are sick I will not be the self-sacrificing friend to do that for you because you got yourselves into this mess. But because I was likely the bridesmaid and have probably witnessed the entire love story play out as part of my life, I will do so begrudgingly and duck away awkwardly when I turn up at your shared house bearing meds and other things…

And you two open the door, noses red and bodies aching but nonetheless happy.

And that is too much for my lonely soul.

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